Colors Of The Mind #10

Make Life Worth Living (MLWL) is a project by Zaluso Arts whose goal is to explore and spark conversations about issues concerning mental health, through art.

Attention, at ease.

The Smith children (Willow and Jaden) are famous for saying some very bizarre things. In one interview though, Willow said something seemingly insane, but very profound: She can stop time. While I and most of the world are yet to meet a real life Dr. Strange, I do believe that you can experience eternity in seconds, if you simply stop thinking so much and just start paying more attention.

For someone who thinks and worries a whole lot like I do, it’s hard to let go of certain thoughts that put crippling doubt and fear in your mind- so hard that you start to feel you’re losing control, and that can be a very ugly feeling. But that’s the problem isn’t it, wanting to be in control? Wanting things to be just so, wanting to read people and wanting to be able to predict the future? I’m at a point where my mind has gotten used to being busy, so instead of filling it with unsolvable thought puzzles, I try to keep it busy by simply paying more attention to, and in so doing, noticing stuff around me, because that is the only thing I can control: How I look at the world.

Living in the present is something that the wisdom gurus of the world- Jesus Christ included- have always emphasized. Closing your eyes, deep breaths, freeing your mind and experiencing everything in the now through your senses without thinking about it- don’t ask why, don’t ask how; experience life in front of you just as it is. Experience yourself as if you’ve never met you- because you probably never have. I like to think that Kas is a rainbow that angels swim in and God smiles at, with a pot of gold at the end of course. I hope I get to meet her someday.

There’s a certain magic about taking the time to notice how the air that goes through your nostrils doesn’t smell like anything.  Science says that the strongest sense related to memory is our sense of smell, and yet the thing we can’t live without, always been there throughout our lives, always going through our noses, into (and out of) our depths, smells like nothing. Air itself has no memories. It has no past, no future, it just always is. I guess that’s why every time we breathe in deeply, we feel a bit better, because we’re just living in the moment, unattached to anything that could or did happen.

There are few things as therapeutic for me as noticing nature around me, but I do enjoy noticing myself a little bit more. Many people wonder why I have such an eccentric personality, and I actually hadn’t asked myself why until very recently: the simple truth is, for every worry I have, I have two more things that fascinate me- and I have a lot of worries. In my opinion I’d rather be more focused on the things that exist around me that I like, than the things in my head that I don’t like and don’t exist.

These days, where we’re under pressure to be absolutely unique and independent, I also like to notice the very simple, common and ordinary parts of me, because those parts are what connect me with other people. I like to notice, with some humor and without trying to kill one over the other, the parts of me that my thoughts say shouldn’t coexist but live in perfect harmony: Insecure Kas and Pretty Kas, Smart Kas and Blonde Kas, Scared Kas and Leader Kas, Kind Kas and Angry Kas, Silent Kas and Kooky Kas, Butch Kas and Sexy Kas, Loving Kas and Hurt Kas, Light Kas and Dark Kas, Messy Kas and Planner Kas.

Being able to notice and fully experience everything is not something that anyone can experience in a day, and it’s super hard in the beginning. But we all start somewhere, and even noticing the smallest of things, like how shoelaces crossover each other, the curl of your toes, the rhythm of your heartbeat, or the number of colours on a sun-kissed leaf- they can help take the edge off when it feels like things have gotten a little too much to handle.

And now I leave you with a quote from one of the world’s greatest Sages, Winnie the Pooh: “what day is it? It’s today. Oh, My favourite day.” Silly Old Bear.

Author: Nyokase Madise is a millennial African Creative who teaches, eats and wears t-shirts. Find more of her written content at itsjustkas.wordpress.com and follow her @AfroditeMW

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